Last Wednesday morning my sister and I drove to our home town, about an hour's drive away from the city where we live now. Several miles outside of our small hometown lies Big Creek Cemetery.
Here at Big Creek, where many of my relatives are buried, one has only to have a parent or grandparent buried here to claim a burial plot--no payments, no fees, just donations for the upkeep now and then.
My sister, cousin and aunt make their way through our former lives.
The dust of my parents' earthly bodies lies beneath this marker.
Mother
Daddy
My flesh and blood walked atop the soil that will one day embrace my dust and bones. I admit it was somewhat of an eerie feeling to walk where my headstone will stand one day. This is the small marker we had made to claim our spot.
And I also admit that sometimes I struggle with the thought of dying, of being placed in the ground. I am a deep thinker and have at times let my thoughts go further than they should, imagining the moment of death. I do this knowing full well that God only gives grace to face death when the moment comes, not before. I am tempted to be envious of those believers who lie here--those who have already tasted that sweet moment of victory.
I am reminded of a story by the inspiring Corrie Ten Boom. One day she asked her father what "sex sin" meant. She had heard this term and wondered about its meaning. She was eight or nine at the time I think. She relates the event as follows:
And so, seated next to Father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sex sin?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but, to my surprise, he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.
"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he asked.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
"It's too heavy," I said.
"Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."
And I was satisfied. More than satisfied—wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions; for now, I was content to leave them in my father's keeping.
Excerpt taken from the book by Corrie Ten Boom: THE HIDING PLACE
Before I left Wednesday morning, I had read Ann's suggestions at Holy Experience for our Walk With Him topic this week which is Holy Week Reflections. My head was swimming with thoughts of Jesus and dying and trying to imagine how He felt knowing what was ahead of Him, knowing the peace that will come when I draw my last breath could not be afforded Him. Why?-- because He became Sin and God in His holiness could not look upon it--He had to turn His back on Sin and the One who became Sin for my sake.
That Jesus knew His death was coming and He would have to face it alone led Him to pray for hours in the Garden of Gethsemane--to ask that the cup pass from Him but nevertheless, the will of the Father be done--and he sweat great drops of blood from the stress of this knowledge.
That the sting of death, the crushing weight of sin from the beginning sin to the very last sin that will ever be committed, He willingly took upon Himself and bore all of this for us is too great a knowledge to understand--I accept it fully, I understand it only partially, but one day.............
We can have peace when our last breaths are drawn because he was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities, and the punishment that will bring us peace was upon Him.
Isa 53:5
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
NIV
Reflecting upon what He did for me during that Holy Week, I left that cemetery knowing I could dance upon that granite grave marker and cry at the top of my lungs
"Oh, death where is thy sting? Oh, grave where is thy victory?"
Blessings,
Dianne
2010-the Year of Longings
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THE HIDING PLACE--Besides the Bible, simply the most inspiring book I've ever read.
