Before the Cock Crows

When did I fall so badly--
Did it start when my trust failed?

When He told me to come to him 

on ripples of liquid glass,

Glass that shattered and broke 
beneath my feet as I glanced down?

When did I fall so badly

Was it when He found us sleeping--

Not keeping watch as He asked?

I thought I would go to the grave with Him,

And then, just as He said, I denied Him thrice

Before the rooster crowed even once.

A lonelier, more haunting sound I've never heard

than that of the cock crowing--

Announcing the dawn of a new day.

As it brought good news to some,

Dread invaded my anguished thoughts--

How could I face the day filled with this dark knowledge?
Knowledge that I had denied, had lied, 

had cursed the One I loved so much--

The one for whom I left home, family and my life's work. 

It had come to this--

When faced with the question of knowing Jesus,

I crumpled in fear and self-love.

And I wonder..............

When Jesus, burdened with the sin of the world,

went to the garden to pray,

And returned not once, not twice,

but three times and found us sleeping . . . . 

If I had been praying

Would I have denied Him a trio of times?

While looking down at shadowy mirrored depths 
my faith had faltered,

While looking up at a heart broken 
from carrying the weight of my darkness,

My faith was quickened and I knew....

Knew that there would be another day with Him,

A day when all He had taught us 

would come true,

A day He would ask me, 
not once, not twice, but three times--

"Peter, do you love me?"

A day I would have the chance to say 
not once, not twice, but three times--

"Yes, Master, You know I do."


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©Dianne Hogue-2008-2012, all text and photos unless otherwise noted


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